cassassin | maskormenace ic contact

When don't you?

[Cause Batman! But she laughs too.]

Sure. We've got the ice cream so now seems like the time? But like I said only share what you want. I probably talked too much, but you know... it's me.

Wouldn't have it any other way.

But, uh... okay. Laurie. We knew each other for... a while, through the League. She's really close to Jaime. Blue Beetle?

[ this is really hard to talk to steph about. because the fact she hadn't been able to get over her was most of what killed that relationship before it could go anywhere, and she doesn't... really know how to explain this without getting into that. she pauses, deciding to change gears. ]

Since I... figured my stuff out, I... dated, a little bit. Danced with girls at clubs. Kissed a... demigoddess, at a party once? But...

[ she sighs. ]

We had... something going, for a few months. Started on a... trip to Finland, on New Year's, with some other people. But... I couldn't... be what she needed, I guess.

[Steph makes a face at that last part. Because uh??]

What the hell did she need... Supergirl?

[Cass is like the whole package, she's perfect. Anyone would be lucky to have her in their life in any capacity. So she can't possibly imagine Cass not being what someone needs. She's way more than that!]

You def have to tell me the demigoddess story later because. You know. But it sounds like you've been... busy? Catching up? I don't know. Which means bad and good stuff, as you've probably realized by now. Honestly, I'm like some spinster in comparison.

Oh, no, that's...

[ she purses her lips into a flat line, thinking. ]

I broke it off. I couldn't... commit to anything, with her. Told her I couldn't. Wasn't her fault. And blame Jason, for... most of the rest? He kept trying to... play wingman.

[ but she just. nods. as far as the "good and bad things" part. ]

And it's been... complicated.

Edited 2019-05-01 15:17 (UTC)

Oh. Well, I think it takes a lot of maturity to realize something like that. About yourself, I mean. And it still sucks, but...better than both of you being in a relationship that isn't working. I can't count the number of times I've been in a relationship to just be in one...

[Sorry Tim. And sorry all her boyfriends before Tim.]

Jason's probably not the best wingman either? Or maybe he is? I don't know him that well.

[ cass gives her an. odd. look at the last part of that first point. she thinks back to when she landed in that whole brief kon thing. when steph wasn't talking to her. well maybe that last point isn't important to bring up. ]

I... think I know how that feels. And he's not... great at it.

[ but circling back. ]

Even with Tim? [ she honestly barely knows what their relationship was like. ]

Edited 2019-05-02 01:21 (UTC)

Tim's... Tim's weird.

[She sighs.]

Or not him, but just. Everything. And it's not entirely his fault either. I mean, I grew up dreaming about Batman and Robin. Working with them, dating Robin, that was supposed to be like a dream come true. I'm the type of girl who literally had- okay, has - posters of Superboy hanging in my room. No boy bands or movie stars, just Superboy and Robin.

And it felt, it felt good. Robin and Spoiler, we were like some power couple. It made it feel real. Like I was part of something, like I was doing good. Which sounds so stupid to say about a boy now that I say it out loud, but... I was barely 16. Ugh, I'm- this is supposed to be about your feelings, not Steph's therapy hour.

[ there's a flare of something like... jealousy? that passes just as quickly as it comes, from the way steph is talking about those days. ]

That's--how it felt to me, when we worked together. If it helps.

What? No. [She shakes her head quickly, caught off guard by Cass's statement. Which probably makes her look a little rude.] I mean, I never felt the same way with you as I did with Tim.

[Give her a second! She'll fix it!]

Yeah, I felt good sometimes, but it was a mess like I said. You never felt weird, Cass. And I really hope I didn't make you feel that way. Because you... when Tim or Bruce were belittling me or doing whatever the hell they thought was helpful, you treated me like a person. Maybe not an equal, and sure, you knocked me out a few times, but- you're freaking Batgirl. Tim made me feel like I had to try to be good. Like I wasn't before. Like I would never be enough. You didn't make me feel that way.

[ well it is sure a good thing that the lights are off because her face is heating up. ]

None of the boys were... enough when they started. Bruce never... gave you the chance. It wasn't fair. But--no, um, what I mean is... the work, what we do, it's... When it was you and me. It felt like... what you said. And... you made me better, too.

Edited 2019-05-04 06:34 (UTC)

Okay, good. Phew. Because I was- don't tell Tim, but if you felt that way about me it'd... it'd suck. You're my best friend. And I, I honestly don't know why you put up with me back then, but I'm really lucky that you did.

Honestly?

[ cass turns to look at her, now. ]

The others were all... family, or teammates, or... trainers. I'd never just... had a friend, before you. You made me feel... normal, even though our lives are...

Edited (ok last one) 2019-05-06 04:02 (UTC)

I know. That's how I felt too. You made all of it feel normal. Or okay? Or not okay, but... not weird. I really don't know. Like the stuff I talk about with you, I couldn't talk about with friends at school. No one would get it. And not that Tim doesn't have his own share of problems, but ours are... yeah.

Yeah. [ it's always felt less alone, with her to talk to. steph understands in a way the others never could. the damage matches in the right ways. ]

I had... when you were gone, after I left for Bludhaven, I made other friends. They didn't... know what I did at night, but... it was good, for a while. Things got... easier. [ none of them could have come close to filling the void stephanie brown left, but she doesn't say that ] And then...

[ she... doesn't finish that sentence. stephanie knows what happened. but... well. the reminder of bludhaven brings up the way cass found out about that. ]

You know, I--saw you, a few times. When I nearly died. [ and once when she actually did, but details! ] Just... seeing things, hearing things, I know, but...

[Steph hugs her knees to her chest.]

I should have been there for you. Really been there.

Wish I could've... been there for you, too.

[ cass reaches out to loop her arms around steph from the side. her voice is quiet, but firm. ]

You know I don't blame you. And you're... here now.

I know. And- [she pauses, not sure if she should share this, but it's Cass] you know what sucks? I used to... I used to see you too. Sometimes you'd cheer me on or tell me good job. But the other times, it wasn't... you. Well obviously, but I mean, you'd- or the you I saw would just say everything I thought to myself. Allllll the bad things. What's funny is you were probably the most supportive person in my life at the time, no, not just probably. You definitely were.

[ that's a lot. and the sincerity of it takes her aback, for a moment, while cass takes in steph's expression, watching her. finally she draws in a deep, shaky breath, moving to pull steph in close. ]

I... know how that feels. But I'm still... and I know you... know this, just--you're amazing, Steph. And I'd never... use any of that, against you.

[ she debates whether she should say more, before finally breathing out a little laugh. ]

Do you know when you--finally won me over?

[Her eyes might be watering up a little? Ooops?

But honestly? Honestly, she doesn't know. She doesn't know why Cass puts up with her, says she's amazing, how she ever won her over. And she also knows this is an invitation to ask, of course, so she'll take the bait. Even if it's still weird/hard having someone say all these nice things about you.]

Prooobably when I called you motormouth, right?

[ she laughs at that. and maybe she reaches out instinctively to wipe at steph's eyes a little, shut up. ]

No, uh--after that. Way after that, I didn't... you were always great, but... When you asked me to train you. And I just... threw you around for an hour, and you said... "same time tomorrow?"

You... didn't give up. You never did. And when I saw that in you, I...

[ yeah. maybe she's tearing up a little too. it's fine? it's. fine. ]

[She goes to wipe away Cass's tears because hey, two can play at this game.]

You were willing to let me try. When I failed, you let me keep going. You wouldn't catch me when I fell, really, and you never held me back. Okay, there's the knocking out bit, but I mean, you didn't go easy on me! And sometimes I definitely wished you would because ow.

So for me, it was that. And uh, when you let me talk about my dad. Like I'm blabbing away and meanwhile you're over there with your trained to be an assassin from birth backstory. And you just... listened. And you never thought bad about me because of it.

[ she closes her eyes, turning to lean her head against steph's shoulder. ]

I'll... be there to catch you now, you know. When it matters.

[ cass has steph's back. and she knows steph has hers. ]

Not if I catch you first! ... which doesn't make any sense, but you get the sentiment.

[She kinda has the urge to nuzzle Cass??? Weird.]

[ god that's so fucking stupid and yet--

cass laughs, staying curled up like that for now. it's fine??? it's fine. ]

Yeah. I got it, Steph.

Edited 2019-05-26 17:26 (UTC)

Good, cause I looked back to the TV for a sec and I think the bats are causing global warming?

[and scene, probably,]

maskormenace ic contact

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject